Susie was walking out the front door when she noticed a red, glistening ball on the table. She said, “Hey this would be perfect for Theo.”

So later that day Theo came home and Susie said, “Yo! Yo! Theo! Catch motherfucka!”

Theo caught the glistening red ball and said, “What do I do with this thang?”

Susie said, “Remember that time you lost your eye? Put that shit in there. It will look hot.” Theo shoved the ball in his socket and began feeling hot.

Later he went down to the pool hall to show off his new eye. Some guy came up to him and was like, “Yo, our red ball is missing. Give me your eye, douche.”

Theo was confused. “I don’t like that plan,” Theo said.

The dude was angry and told Theo they were in the middle of an important game. Theo understood and gave them his eye.

He went home later and Susie was dressed in her sexiest lingerie and was like, “Hey Theo. Come watch me do you.”

Theo entered the room and Susie, taking one look at his missing eye, was like, “Oh no you didn’t. You can leave now you one-eyed goblin.” Theo sat on the couch and never again did Susie think he was hot.

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