James was walking the same road for days it seemed. “If that thing shows up on my doorstep again I’m gonna destroy it like how someone would destroy something they don’t like!” James was talking to himself again.

He was approximately 4300 miles from home, and home was approximately 4300 miles from him. Days and months he spent hiking these lovely roads by himself. He slept in ditches and peed on trees, but most of all he licked his lips a lot. So much in fact that his face was like a huge lollipop. But it wasn’t really. People would see him and be like, “Hey I got something for you to lick!” But in reality they didn’t, and all this did was upset James.

One day James, being super hungry, tried to eat a living squirrel monkey. But the squirrel monkey dove at him and bit him ripping his lips off his sad face. The squirrel monkey ran off with the lips and mocked James by licking them from up in his tree. Now, the pain is even worse when James hears, “Hey, I got something for you to lick!”

It’s a cruel world but even James’ phantom lips still need licking. If only the rest of mankind could understand.

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