Theo was standing there staring at it in the window for what seemed like ages. A mustard colored long sleeve polo with a see through tag, thick collar and sleeves that were warm and bunched up nicely at the wrist.

He would do anything for this shirt, even kill to own it. But kill to own wasn’t an option at this store. He went home eager to talk to anyone about his new obsession.

Suddenly the phone rang and his wife Jill was like, “I’ll get it! Oh wait I can’t my hands are covered in jizz. I mean soap. I always get those two confused.”

So Theo answered the phone and it was the mustard polo. “I saw the way you were looking at me today,” the polo said. “We should be together. I’ll take care of Jill.” Then the line went dead.

The next day Jill broke up with Theo because she fell madly in love with an orange jock strap. Theo died shortly after in a car accident while getting road head from his mustard colored polo.


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