Jack was only in third grade but he was kind of a badass. As soon as he stepped outside for recess on that extremely hot day the first thing out of his mouth was, “It’s hot as shit. It feels like someone shoved an exclamation mark up my ass!”

Betty walked over to Jack and said, “Why you gotta be like that? I would be so into you if you weren’t all nasty.”

Jack grabbed his crotch and was like, “Bitch you da nasty one. You and your Jheri curl toe hairs. Why don’t you blow dry dat shit?”

“My fucking blow dryer’s broke you asshole!” Betty explained.

Then she began punching Jack in the face til his head exploded all over the playground. Afterwards she started reciting LL Cool J lyrics with the top down in her little red wagon.

“Hopscotch is for faggots,” Betty yelled at some kids as she cruised the grounds for more hoodlums.


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