“I love you and that’s why it’s hard to do this. You’ve become part of me. But it’s just bad timing, brother. I got big plans and things to conquer. I mean maybe there is a way we could still be in each others’ lives. I could pretend like I’m a librarian and check you in and out occasionally. I didn’t expect you to alter my perception of the universe so much. The more I look at you the more I want you to stay,” Scott confessed his feelings to his STD while staring at it under a microscope.

His girlfriend Betsy entered the room and sat next to him, “Can I take a look?” she asked.

“Sure,” Scott replied sliding the microscope over.

Betsy gazed into the scientific device and asked, “What is it?”

Scott sighed and said, “It’s an STD.”

“Yours?” Betsy asked.

“Yup,” he replied.

Betsy smiled and said, “Interesting. You just can’t give this thing up can you?”

Scott put his head down, “It’s just so hard and difficult and not easy, in fact quite complicated to just abandon the poor fella. I hope you understand,” he said.

Betsy put her hand on his leg, leaned over and whispered in Scott’s ear, “It’s me or the STD.”

Scott looked up and noticed cameras all around him, “What is this?” he asked.

A man with a thin mustache and slicked back hair with a name tag that read, ‘Host’ answered. “We’re filming for our new reality show. ‘It’s Me or the STD’,” he said. “Betsy here told us of your situation and invited us into your private lives in exchange for a small amount of cash. She also wanted the world to know she may soon be single and that you have an STD hangup,” the Host continued.

Scott looked at Betsy with tears in his stupid eyes and yelled, “I can’t believe you would do this to me!”

Scott picked up his STD which was blurred out on the screen and ran off with it. Betsy winked into the camera and fixed her hair and then said, “Well America it looks like I’m single now.”

The host stepped in and asked her, “We have to ask for all the single men out there. Do you currently have any STD’s?”

Betsy pulled her top up flashing the camera and said, “My boobs don’t have an STD.”

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