Eliza was chasing something through the halls of her college building.
“Oh my god! Someone catch it! It’s going too fast!” she exclaimed.
Finally she cornered the scurrying little creature. “Holy shit, it’s a little life! Look everyone it’s a life! Let’s burn it!”
The life looked up at Eliza and said, “Take it easy. It’s just me, Otto.”
“Well, where the hell is the rest of you?” Eliza asked.
“This girl came back to my dorm room and well she kinda sucked me out of myself,” he explained.
Eliza looked confused and began to ponder whether or not she had ever sucked the life out of anyone. “Where’s your body?” she asked him.
Otto scratched his life head and said, “I can’t remember where she put it. I think it’s just gone now.”
“You need to find a home somewhere,” Eliza insisted.
“But where?” Otto replied.
Eliza looked over both her shoulders then reached down and swiped Otto up from the floor and yelled, “Inside my vagina!” She lifted her skirt and gave new life to her once dead vagina.
The following night while Eliza was at a frat party a most handsome man decided to perform oral on her. As he began licking his chops in front of her vagina a voice spoke from it, “Great you’re like the fourth person today.”
The guy was like, “You told me you were sort of a virgin!” and stormed out of the party. But not before spreading the news like wildfire to everyone he crossed.
It was only a matter of time before Eliza’s notoriety brought her on to Oprah. She sat there for the first time. Herself and her vagina both being interviewed and giving relationship advice to members of the audience.
Then one day Otto got a cold and couldn’t stop sneezing, soaking Eliza’s underwear. She went through over twenty pairs in a day when she landed an endorsement deal from a prominent underwear company.
Whenever Eliza needs to masturbate she has to trick Otto into it by telling him they’re playing Patty Cake. A few time each month Otto gets hired to be a Civil War Reenactor during Eliza’s period.
The stakes are high but the money is phenomenal and they wouldn’t have it any other way.