Handful of Dirty Pubes

For years the practice of shaving man’s pubic hair has become more and more popular. Now one man has conducted an experiment by gathering the shaved pubic hairs of hundred of people from around the globe and releasing them into the wild.

The result is something beautiful and touching. Thousands of homeless birds have found a way to create nests out of these otherwise useless pubes.

Director T. Voltron takes us on an amazing journey in this documentary that shows how humans can impact the world and birds. Watch as sad homeless birds fly around searching for a place to raise their family only to be turned away at every nest. But when they find dirty used pubes resting on the moss their world suddenly changes.

Huge majestic bird nests are crafted from these hairs. The coarseness of the material provides great protection from predators and a warm place to call home. Don’t miss this extraordinary tale of hope and bravery this fall when Director T. Voltron brings you, ‘A Handful of Dirty Pubes.’

Unicorn Rabies

Tired of going out to the same old fancy restaurant all the time? You’re not alone. Now there’s a way to spice up your taste buds experience.

Unicorn Rabies is the perfect place to bring your next date. They’ll be more than impressed to see you’ve brought them to the hottest new spot on Earth. We’ve listened to thousands of your requests and we know you’ve always wanted to know what unicorns and rabies tasted like. We simply combined your wants and desires to create the most magnificent dining establishment in existence.

When you walk through the door of Unicorn Rabies you will have the option to not only choose which rabid unicorn you would like for dinner. But also the option to have your picture taken with it and made into a felt black light poster.

VIP members have the option of slaughtering their own rabid unicorn in our Unicorn Death Room in front of a crowd of spectators painted on the wall.

Unicorn Rabies. Like silly bands for adults.

Ladies of the Night and The Exploding Heads They’re Attached To

Coming soon to a television near you. ‘Ladies of the Night and The Exploding Heads They’re Attached To’. A new reality show that keeps the hooker population under control in a fun and entertaining way.

We take your average hooker, give her some blow and shove a time bomb in her head. Our carefully hidden cameras watch as a client picks her up and prepares to get busy. Then we watch in anticipation as our cameras capture the reaction on the client’s face when the hooker’s head explodes.

An on-screen countdown clock allows you to be part of the action. Have fun counting down with your friends as you throw back a few cold ones. Keep an eye out for the hookers we picked from the pumpkin patch this season. These are the ones with larger than life heads which equals bigger explosions!

Each client walks away with a framed picture of their reaction to the exploding whore head. The funniest ones will be posted on our website and voted on for a chance to win ewok fur.

So be sure to stay tuned for what many are calling, “the most hilarious reality show since Intervention.”

Afrobotics

Here at Afrobotics we set out to end the boring era of non-stylish robots. How you ask? By creating the first ever robotic afro for your robot’s metal head.

With the purchase of our aquatic adapter you’ll be able to equip your robotic afro with a shark tank. Mean ass sharks swimming through your robot’s afro proves to the world that you’ve made the big time. When you’re feeding goldfish to the sharks in your robot’s afro think of all the people who aren’t doing that. Notice how inferior they appear.

For the history buff we have a special Gotcha package that allows you to replay the Lincoln and J.F.K. assassinations through your robot’s afro. Who’s on the grassy knoll? Let me zoom in on your afro and see.

Our newest feature allows bored psychology students to channel the ghost of Carl Jung through your robot’s afro. Watch as your robotic afro morphs into Jung himself to give you that added motivation you need to score an A+ on every paper.

At Afrobotics we’ll make your robot’s head better than yours. And we’re really good at it.

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