Rod was walking with his girlfriend Heidi down the street when his eye fell out and landed on the ground.
“Oh no!” Rod yelled.
Heidi not paying attention accidentally stepped on it.
“What the hell did you step on my eye for?” Rod asked.
“Dude, life’s not that serious,” Heidi said.
Rod was flabbergasted. “Not that serious?! My fucking eye fell out and you stomped on it!”
Heidi was getting annoyed and asked, “How come you can never just relax?”
“You’re right. I’m making a big deal over nothing. I mean I’m only missing A FUCKING EYE!” Rod explained.
“See there you go whining like a little baby again,” Heidi pointed out.
Rod was confused and pissed, “Are you judging me right now?” he asked.
“Am I judging you?! Of course I’m judging you! Your eye just fell out of your head. What kind of asshole lets that happen?!”
Rod was taken back. “You really shouldn’t be judging me because of this,” he said.
Heidi understood, “You’re right I shouldn’t judge you. I mean there’s nothing creepy at all about your eye falling on the ground while we’re out for a walk. Oh wait yea there is.”
“You know you’re acting like a real bitch right now!”
“Yea well you’re acting like a real cyclops right now,” Heidi shot back.
Rod was fed up. “I don’t know why I put up with this shit,” he blurted out.
But Heidi knew why. “It’s because you’re a fucking douche. And you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna go bang someone whose eyes don’t fall out of their head!” she said as she ran off to the closest bar.
“Oh I see how it is!” Rod yelled.
“Liar!” Heidi yelled back laughing to herself.