Leonard’s mom walked in on Leonard fisting his butt and asked, “What, are you happy?”
“No, I was just thirsty but I didn’t feel like getting up,” Leonard responded.
“OK. Make sure you wash your hands,” his mom said.
She walked into the living room and said to his dad, “Your son is fisting his butt again.”
“What do you want me to do about it?” asked his father.
“Well, he wouldn’t be doing this if he never saw those videos of you from high school.”
His dad stood up and said, “Fine I’ll go talk to him.”
As he entered Leonard’s room he noticed Leonard sitting on his bed sniffing his fist. It reminded his dad of a poetry class he took one semester in college. It was then they made eye contact and Leonard screamed, “What are you looking at freak?!” Then stood up and asked, “What are you jealous?”
The next move was a bold one. Leonard dove on top of his dad knocking him down. Lying on top of his father Leonard started to shove his fist under his dad’s nose. He continued yelling at his father, “Why are you so weird?! Smell my fist!”
His dad tried not to smell it but couldn’t help it.
“It smells like butterscotch!” his dad exclaimed.
“I know!” Leonard confirmed and began weeping.
His dad pushed him off him and asked, “What’s your problem?”
Leonard sat on the floor crying and said, “I had gay sex with a butterscotch krimpet!”
His dad was relieved and said, “Last time you acted like that it was because you wanted a Playstation. So I wasn’t sure. Sorry.”


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