Dennis ran in the backdoor of his house in search of his mother. He was lucky to find her there baking her banana bread and even luckier that she was an orthodontist. Dennis just had his teeth punched in by the new zombie hitman in town.
“All I ever do is get my teeth punched in,” Dennis said.
“Well, that’s because you’re a zombie,” his mother replied.
She took one look at his teeth and like so many times before yanked on them until they straightened back out.
“You can’t just be eating people’s brains all day and not expect a few of those close- minded nuts to get upset,” she told him.
“You’re right, ma. It’s just that all I think about while I’m in class is brains. I can’t even pay attention because everywhere I look all I see human flesh,” Dennis said.
His mother seemed worried and reminded him, “You have to behave in school. Last week I got a phone call telling me you were gnawing on the back of some girl’s elbow during Ethics.”
Dennis was getting nervous and started picking at his rotten flesh.
“Be careful you don’t get any in my bread,” his mother warned.
As she said that a large chunk of his zombie flesh landed in the freshly baked banana bread. Dennis’ mother became irate and yelled, “Bad zombie!”
Dennis took his rotten flesh and his hurt feelings and charged his mother. She tried to defend herself but failed because she was a baker, not a zombie killer. Dennis sunk his teeth in her and tore her flesh apart before digging into her brains.
Moments later Dennis’ father walked into the kitchen to find his wife on the floor and Dennis sitting on the counter eating banana bread. The father stared at his wife and asked, “What happened?”
Dennis still eating replied, “I ate mom’s brains.”
His father looked at him with much disappointment and asked, “You didn’t eat all the banana bread, did you?”
- Clit Mag - 